Holding Space For Conversation. . .
No-one should go through life without having someone to talk to. Whether it’s your best friend or a family member or a complete stranger, either way, I want to stop the monologue that you have going on in your head and I want us to have a dialogue. There are times in our life where we may have gone through a tumultuous journey that has affected your emotional wellbeing. You may even be going through something right now but you find it difficult to talk it through with someone especially if it is something that is causing you personal turmoil. As a result, you may be struggling to move on with your life.
I’ve been a single woman for as long as I can remember (still looking for my king though) so I took it upon myself to apply for the Channel 4 programme First Dates . . . Sometimes you have to think outside the box if you need a little help. Anyway, I was invited to attend an interview somewhere in North London. Upon arrival I found myself sitting around a table with about ten other women completing an application form to be a candidate for the programme, hopeful that within weeks I might be on a date with my potential husband.
So after the formalities were over, I overheard one of the women (I’m going to call her The Professional) say that she had been on First Dates before. Of course, my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know what her experiences were, but more importantly what I would expect from the experience if I manage to get through the initial stages.
As we proceeded to make our way home The Professional, insisted we exchange numbers so we can let each other know if we were successful in getting through to the next stage. It was a couple of days later before I received a message from her stating (her own words).
“I don’t think they will pick me, I was not as confident in how I spoke as before, think it was because of what happened to me.”
Since making her statement The Professional proceeded to tell me part of her story about how her ex-boyfriend treated her and how she felt about him.
“I wish I had never met the ex, I hate him for what cruelness and trouble he has caused to my life. So wrong. I don’t know if I can ever recover from it.”
I spent many months Holding Space with The Professional listening to the web of issues she was trying to unravel and also trying to build up her self-confidence which was clearly on the floor, as she divulged further personal details to me without me asking any questions. Another concern was about the fact that her biological clock was ticking and she wanted children, (I know a lot of women will be able to identify with this, especially if they may have put motherhood on hold.)
It was clear The Professional felt comfortable, and relaxed knowing that she didn’t feel the need to stand on ceremony with me. She knew I would not be judging her when she shared her stories with me. Bearing in mind that I was a stranger to her. As we exchanged messages it was clear that she felt torn apart with the decisions she needed to make in the near future and the emotional shackles that were restricting her.
At this stage we are strangers. She asked nothing of me nor did I tell her anything about me. As we exchanged messages and met for lunch it was clear that she felt torn apart with the decisions she needed to make in the near future and the emotional shackles that were restricting her. I wanted to help her to loosen those shackles which would allow her to feel free to make some initial positive decisions or to change how she felt about herself.
Several months later during one of our conversations, The Professional told me that she had registered to attend Life Coaching sessions with Strictly Pro Dancer Camilla Danllerup.
This was part of our conversation:
The Professional: “I forgot to tell you. I started a bit with a life coach. Only doing a few sessions. I’ve done one, so far so good. It’s with Camilla Dallerup.”
Me: “Good for you. I hope it helps you. You did look well though.”
The Professional: “Aw, thank you. Have up and down days but it’s worth a try.”
I knew I was a contributing factor in helping her to come to a decision in finding a Life Coach, because I had mentioned it during our conversations, so at some point, she had considered it. Or perhaps she made that decision for herself. Either way, I was happy to make time to Hold Space with her in order for her to make a positive decision in moving forward in her life.
So, if you have something to say and no-one to have a conversation with, on a topic you have been:
- Struggling with emotionally or
- Perhaps you have something to say and those around you don’t have the time to listen or
- Maybe you want to go for a coffee and chat and talk about your dreams and hopes and you’re searching for motivation, then why not get in contact with me at:
Join me again for another story from The People Whisperer.
I will help you to stand in your truth and shine your light bright.
Have a fabulous day!